34 Years Later

I, JD Hyman, being sound of mind, body, and soul, do hereby bequeath the following…

When we look back on the grand expanse of our lives and we try to figure out how we got to the exact place we are in that exact moment, sometimes we see an epic journey–one fraught with obstacles and milestones, many of which we never even knew we had the capacity to overcome. It’s like we’re watching our lives play out on stage and we’re waiting in the wings trying to figure out at what point do we step in and assume the role that is our own life.

My life has always been a series of epic adventures, the kind of life that is full of stories–the kind that makes you wonder if the whole thing is even real. At some point you’ve grown up and you didn’t even know it. I still to this day sometimes can’t fathom the fact that I’m an actual grownup. Me! I’m an adult! When I was younger, I always thought that when I was older I would have life figured out. I thought that when I was 16 life would make sense, and then when I was 18, then again when I was 20 and again when I was 25 and at some point, I just stopped planning for growth and just embraced the fact that I was actually growing all that time.

Looking back on my early twenties, thinking I had life figured out–it makes me cringe to think I knew what I was doing back then. I had no idea what I was doing. I was going through life with a bunch of people who had no idea what we were doing but we were doing the best we could at the time. We experienced life on a dynamic level. I watched my friends struggle with the same things I struggled with and somehow that made it better.

Sometimes I wish I could step in a time machine and go back into the past and find my younger self and in addition to giving him some critical investment advice, I would also help him through life, through some of the hardest pains I had to overcome. Some of the things I would tell him?

To 16 year old JD, you don’t have to be the smartest person in the room. If someone doesn’t respect you because of your intelligence, who cares? Leave them by the curb my man. If someone is intimidated by the fact that you actually did the homework, who cares? Don’t belittle yourself and make yourself smaller for their appeasement. Eff the bell curve, live yo life! It’s okay to be smart. You are not too smart for your own good, you are as smart as you need to be.

To 18 year old JD, you don’t have to settle for less than what you deserved. You worked your butt off in highschool. Don’t follow the crowd. Don’t lower your standards to meet the expectations of people who won’t even be bothered to give you the time of day. Hold your head up kid, it gets better.

To 20 year old JD, no, you’re not going to figure out everything the first time around. I know you had plans and aspirations to do things and go places. But you can’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t come to fruition. And yes, I know you wanna see the whole world, but the world is huge and it’s not going anywhere. It’s going to take time and you know what? That is okay.

To 25 year old JD, you had very specific things you wanted to accomplish by this time in your life and no, those things haven’t happened and if I’m being honest, it might be 10 years before these things actually happen, and that’s okay. I know you don’t have everything figured out and who says you’re supposed to? Life is not a race, it’s a journey and a slow one at that.

Nothing and I mean nothing about this world makes sense. Honestly, I don’t think any of it is supposed to make sense and if I’m being even more honest, I don’t think it ever will. You make brave choices every day and it is in those choices that you thrive–that life thrives. You will and continue to be your own best supporter and your greatest adversary. And in the pain that you create, change and growth are not only evident, but warmly welcomed.

Don’t beat yourself up, learn from the mistakes and do what you know is best and what aligns with what you know to be right. Remember, sometimes a little bit of hope goes a long way. Like I’ve said before, sometimes we are forced to recognize that certain kinds of miracles do exist and that hope and fear and the ghost of our past can propel us to be better versions of ourselves. That in doing so, perhaps, just perhaps, we can make better choices out of the ashes of our failures.

I, JD Hyman, do hereby commit these words to paper, that in doing so, they will become practices that are etched on the interior of my heart, that they might mean something, that I might carry them with me always; that they become the things I need most of all. We were never supposed to be perfect, and we were never supposed to be burdened by the choices we make. Omnia mea mecum porto—I carry with me all of my things.