Almost 30 Years

When I first made this blog, I was just looking for a place to gather my thoughts and over the years, it’s become a place where I can address real issues both in my life and in the world as a whole. Over the years I’ve come to terms with a lot of things and it seems like no matter what it is––I’ve survived. I credit that survival to the steadfast faith I have in God. I survived a tumultuous 29 years and as I stroll into the next chapter of life I can only hope that the next 30 years are just as interesting.

While I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be at this point in my life––I am grateful knowing that I’m not completely lost. There’s this saying “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry,” that I’ve adopted over the years. I often have to remember what my job in life is and sometimes I place too much importance on the things that matter the least. I’ve spent 29 years trying to navigate the world and more often than not I come up short but one thing is certain––no matter how many times I fail at life, there’s always a lesson in there just waiting to be uncovered.

I use humor and sarcasm to make light of the bad times and solace and gratitude to cope with the worse times and when there are good times––I take stock, and as much as I can, I try to remember to bask in it. We don’t often have the opportunity to make different choices or redo troubling situations, so we make the most of what we have––at least I try to. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted a do-over. In fact, if I could go back and try again, I would go back to 2004 because that’s probably when things really went off the rails for me. But we can’t do that, and I don’t have room in my life to hold onto regrets.

One thing that I hope to accomplish in this next chapter in life is to be able to strengthen the relationships I have in my life. I hope to be a better son, brother, cousin, and friend. I hope to be able to recognize people in their time of need and to have the ability to meet those needs. I hope to be able to use my gifts and strengths to address the practical needs of the people I encounter on a day to day basis. I hope to find purpose in following my dreams and accomplishing my goals. I hope to champion the things I stand for and I hope to see more of my Better Angels.

Exiting one demographic and entering the next is a big deal and I hope to do justice to the people who came before me and to the ones who’ll come after me. I still have a few months left of 29 and I want to make the most of that. I want my life to exemplify everything I stand for and I want to show people that I am capable of so much more than they’ve seen in the past.

Our lives should be a reflection of what we want to see in the world. We should give what we want to get back and we should be reminded that what we put into the universe follows us wherever we go.

So, no matter what happens––terrible or wondrous––it’s been almost 30 years, and I’m damn proud of how far I’ve come.

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